Without a Second

I am definitely having one of those days where finding a Plinky post worth writing about in genuinely hard. I was starting to think I may have to go soul searching through the depths of the question archives to find one I could write on. Then I looked a second time at this one Is your personality more like your mother’s or your father’s?. I’d skipped it the first time because I’m not sure of the answer. I’ve come back to it because I still do spend a lot of time thinking personality so I can probably think about the answer with my fingers for a few paragraphs.

Firstly, my own personality. I’m generally introverted however with close friends I tend to enjoy dominating the conversation from time to time (after all I spend the rest of my life building up all this opinions I never express). I am a horrible planner and yet I’m a stickler for timings and I find going places with people who are not punctual to be stressful and frustrating. On the topic of stress I am a high stressed person - I stress about everything. And probably the last point of significance is I am generally incapable of comprehending and responding appropriately to other peoples emotion - I see it but I just can’t respond to it.

Personality Not Included - Rohit Bhargava

So which of my parents does that sound more like? Well I’m not really sure. So I’m going to use more defined personality analysis. Everybody has heard of the the personality typing Myers-Briggs etc stuff? Well if you haven’t its 4 sets of two alternatives.

I am INTP - Introverted, iNtuitive(outside the box), Thinking, Perceiving(procrastinating)

While my parents are:
Mum - Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Percieving
Dad - Introverted, Sensing(good at details), Thinking, Judging(plan,plan,plan)

So looking at those figures I guess that makes me more like my mother. Three in common instead of two in common. Probably explains why we don’t get along so great at times - we are reasonable similar. However I would be more inclined to say on thinking about it that I am more like my dad - which is also why mum and I don’t get alone over extended periods - after all mum divorced dad for a reason. - This makes it sound as though I don’t get along with mum - we get along great - because I don’t live at home anymore.

Why/how am I most like my dad? I don’t get emotion all that well. While I don’t plan like he does I do like the go and do things and organise those things before you go and be early way dad does things. I am also much more prone to getting outwardly frustrated if things don’t go to plan like Dad rather than like mum.

I don’t have a particularly strenuous need to keep in close contact with my family which is just like dad. Talking on the phone infrequently or the occasional text is more than amble for me much of the time (seriously if I ring home my mother fears something is seriously wrong).

How would I like to be more like my dad then? He is a fantastic story teller is my dad. Me on the other hand I can’t tell a joke to save myself and more general life stories I’m liable to go off on a tangent before I reach the conclusion. My dad just has something really vivacious about how he conducts himself in small group conversations which I hope to achieve with time and life experience.

Sometimes a Plinky question is in and of itself enough to make me write about it, and sometimes its the secondary question space that really entices me in. This is the second one. As much as I love to talk about Is the book always better than the movie?. The fact that the question had the sense to ask for specifics under the category Are there any exceptions?.

I generally stand on the side of the books being better than the movies. I know this question will be loosely inspired by Harry Potter and so I’ll warrant a short sharp - turning Harry Potter into a movie super franchise completely destroyed the charm of the series. I have point blank refused to watch any of the films after the first one and the last 3 books which are movie influenced I believe aren’t worth the paper they are printed on. Rant complete.

Now to speak more calming. I do like books better. I feel like it is better value for money (books take longer to read than a movie takes to watch). You get to idealise the characters how you want to be, sometimes mispronounce the name a little bit because they sound better that way, skim through the boring bits or spend 1000s of words covering the extra details that movies miss.

In short. Books rock!

However there is one case where I would much rather watch the movie than the read the book. Have you ever seen Confessions of a Shopoholic?

I, honestly, am a pretty big fan of Sophie Kinsella. I love “Can You Keep A Secret?” and “The Undomestic Goddess”. However the one book I cannot abide is “Secret Dreamworld of a Shopoholic” (and probably all of its series but why would I read more of the most annoying character known to man).

I saw the movie first. I love it. Its a great general purpose chick flick with a hot guy with an accent and a down-to-earth hopeless individual girl. My kind of thing. I didn’t know much about the book at the time - nor did I have any intention of reading it.

Later however I realised the book was by Sophie Kinsella. I already have several of her books on my bookshelf without realising she was the Shopoholic writer. I realised I liked the movie and I liked the author. Thus using my usual viewpoint on book vs movie I thought I have to read this it’ll be amazing.

The written form shopoholic is the most infuriating woman I have ever had the misfortune to read about. She is very much self-obsessed and constantly interested in the superficial action of shopping. The movie character was actually developed a bit more allrounder because she did have to attract the guy. The big difference between the book and the movie is the girl does not get the guy in the book. Perhaps she gets him in book two it’s title I believe is something about tying the knot however… I wouldn’t be willing to read more of her (the books are in first person) to get to the romance.

It stands by me as the one time I have seriously disliked a book to which I seriously loved the movie.

Before I get into this I’m going to warn anybody reading this - I am disinclined to stick to what is politically correct. Why? The Plinky topic is What are the first things you notice about people you just met?’ and I’m about to be honest. I notice a number of things about people when I meet them, some good, some appropriate, and some purely because you can’t help it.

Stereotyping of Women - Alive and Well

1. The obvious one - I tend to notice gender. Really who can fault a person for noticing that the person they just met is a boy or a girl. Of course sometimes it is hard to tell because a lot of ‘gender’ really comes from how they dress or how they talk which leads into.



2. Sexuality. And I’m not talking about asking the person whether they dig guys or girls. I make the obvious decision and treat the person accordingly. (And by accordingly I don’t mean I talk to straight people and call my local church about gays. I don’t know OR CARE about a person’s sexual preferences - unless I happen to be interested but I’ll get to that soon) It is simply a case of you don’t talk about the same things to homosexual/appearing homosexual men as you would to ‘lets go throw the football’ straight dudes.


3. Next after gender would have to be age. Am I talking to my grandmother? Is this person likely to understand it if I mention tweeting about one of my Facebook friends blog update? Am I talking to a school child? Doesn’t make me age-ist or something just makes me normal…


4. Relationship status. I’m not some ‘I can tell if you’re marriage in two seconds’ guru wizard lady or anything. Just like with sexual orientation I don’t care about what the person ACTUALLY is only how they appear to be. I’m sure there are many independent people out there in relationships. By and large though you can pick a person as being in a relationship or people married. Have they been talking about this other person you’ve never met? Have they by way of introduction insisted upon showing off photos of their children? Have they been talking about wanting to pick up this Friday night?


5. Another thing I’m willing to admit to? I notice race. Ahhh!!! Did she just say the ‘r’ word? She must be BAD. Hmmm… This is not how I see it. Everybody notices race - whether not you are attracted to them, whether or not you would be expecting them to be local, whether or not you expect them to speak in English. And you know what? None of that is bad - so long as you aren’t using it to judge the entire person. Nobody says you can’t judge a cover - that’s why publishing is such big business. You look at two people embraced on the cover and you expect romance - see some guns or a desert scene you start thinking war book. There is a difference between judging a cover, using it to prepare yourself for the book, and judging a book by its cover.


6. More politically correct now I notice sense of humour. Do I think they are funny? Do they seem to respond to my jokes as funny? Do they appear to be the type of person who would pick holes in the plot line of a really good joke rather than seeing the funny side? Sense of humour is probably one of the first things I try to get a handle on after race. If I’m talking to an American I’m likely to soften the harsh Australian humour to sort of test my limits rather than immediately ragging on them like I might do an Aussie. (Just proving my point from before a little bit)


7. Intellectual viewpoint. I phrase it like that because I’m not looking for how smart a person is but I sort of am. I am talking about how intelligent the conversation they seem to enjoy is. ‘Haha you silly’ or ‘that appears to be a well-formulated argument about divinity’. This also for me includes how much do they want to talk simple pleasantries and do they find me commenting that ‘weather patterns this year have been throughly different because of la nina’ interesting as trivia, irrelevant, or do they wish to lecture me about what precisely la nina is.


8. Are they relational or more factual? I can’t quite get the phrasing of this one right but it is something that is pretty evident. Often it will be girls talk relationally and boys tend to be more things/events orientated (factual) but this is definitely not something I align to gender myself being a girl who is much more comfortable in fact based realm. Its a way of thinking which is evident in how the people talk - and the expectations they have of your response to them. Relational want you to climb into their shoes - the factual are much more likely to tell you they have pretty great shoes and today that went to town and saw stuff. This is of course an undercurrent thing and I don’t generally assign people permanently into one of these categories based a first meeting but which one our first conversation belongs in will seriously effect how comfortable I am with that person. Factual people and I - we just tend to get along a bit easier.


9. Finally and most importantly - do they appear to be judging me? Because I can notice all of the things I’m mentioned above (and of course a host more things) without it really effecting how I relate to or treat this person I’ve just met. Some of them will make conversation more awkward but that doesn’t lead to me disliking them or even thinking them to be weird. BUT if I feel judgement in their treatment of me, if they seem to have some self-righteous view that they are better than me, I will judge them back and find thing severely lacking. It probably still won’t be excessively noticeable in how I talk to them but let’s just say daggers will be pointed at them in my mind.

Possibly a bit more in depth than Plinky was looking for. Even now that I missed things like their appearance, their height, do I think they are attractive, how they are dressed, posture gestures… In the first two or three minutes of meeting people we notice a LOT of things. It is important to recognise that we do and perhaps even more importantly that OTHER people do.

Oh dear. I’m spoiled for choice. Why is it that when I stop coming to Plinky the questions suddenly get infinitely better? So this wants me to pick a genre of music I would be .

And I have to say I can’t go past country music.

2009 CMA 061109

Country is the obvious choice for me, but then this question is asked in such a way that I’m guessing most people will say their favourite genre. Who would want to be represented by a genre other than their favourite if they didn’t have to be? Its got a lot to do with the fact that people favour music that gets to them. I am really concerned for anybody who says ‘Screamo’ to this question.

However why specifically am I the country genre? I mean I’m a large town/city suburbs girl for much of my life. I have a job which means I will live much of my life in Australia’s capital cities from now. I certainly didn’t grow up under a rock - as I will answer one of the other Plinky posts I have had semi-consistent use of a computer since I was 2.

But country is about that… There are plenty of country songs of the outback but many more that aren’t specific or are just as applicable to everyday city people. In fact there are some specifically about the fact country is at the heart of city people too ‘Gone Country’ by Alan Jackson of the top of my head.

No I say country not because of where I’m from (which I admit is the home of Keith Urban - and that was significant to me at one stage in my childhood). Its about who I am, what I like, what I find important and what country music sings about. If you ever wanted to hear about what country music is about there are a number of songs that attempt to describe it ‘Songs About Me’ and ‘This Is Country Music’ I know well.

Basically I don’t know who anybody with a slight romantic streak can’t love country music however. From romance-y songs like ‘Amazed’, ‘This Is Your Song’ and ‘Fall Into Me’ to songs about wanting more ‘Not My Guy’, ‘Wrong Girl’ or ‘Not Your Cinderella’ to break up ‘Songs About Rain’, ‘There Is No Arizona’, ‘You Aren’t Leaving (Thank God Are You?)’. Country is the musical variation of my love of romance fiction.

I don’t only listen to the love songs though. I love the songs which are simply about life. They are about taking the bad with the good but then celebrating the good. Songs about family and friendship and looking forward to getting out of work and spending the afternoon at the pub. Country music is simply about life.

So…. Its been a long time since a plinky topic has made me want to complete it badly enough that I came back to it a second time. I have to say that plinky is a real let down when you don’t get through to the end of a post before you need to shut off etc. I suppose that is why I should write my own blog posts rather than simply answer these.

Thats irrelevant today because Plinky just asked me to title my masterpiece. I have to say that that is one of my favourite off and on hobbies. Books titles and ideas come to me all the time. Sometimes I write them down, sometimes I don’t. I hope some day, when my writing abilities magically multiplies, that I can turn one of these casual story lines into a fully fledged book.

On the Bus
Emma is a mid-twenties city-dwelling office-working bore. At least that is why her colleagues say about her. She a vegetarian - and not one of those fashionable ones - not big on sharing her cause or making a song and dance out of her reasoning. She doesn’t smoke, she doesn’t drink, she’s never rocked up to work on a Friday bleary eyed or attempted to use Mondayitis as an excuse for a three day weekend. Nobody knows exactly what she does in her spare time - simply that it must not be very interesting.

Tom could care less. He wears his formal business clothes a bit daggier than he should. He leaves work early when he feels like it. Nobody is about to tell him off - he’s the boss. He isn’t hugely into the parties these days but anything other than work is great so party he does - as many nights a week as possible. Unfortunately the one person senior to him is his mum. And she makes him help the environment by catching the bus to work..

This is a love affair of two people who happen to share the same bus to work. And how maybe they aren’t as different as they seem…

Drop Dead Fred
A satire of every story that gave the main character everything they ever wanted.

Who knew Melanie had a great Uncle named Fred who wanted to give her everything he owned in life? Which was 10 million dollars, a bookstore and a library of first additions. She’s a sensible girl she’s seen the movies. Maybe the money isn’t where she should find her pleasures. She tries to make herself content with the shop. Runs it herself… Every time she has a day off she experiences more of that party scene that having money to waste gives you access to. She realises - to hell with being good and right and following the script of a good girl’s life - this money provides EXACTLY what she wanted all her life. She loves the men, loves the action. This girl just wants to have fun.

Sand Bottom Sound
A long long way from Iron Bottom Sound there lives a girl. A girl who knows the dangers of the every changing sands and the other underwater hazards of her home town. She also knows the darker secrets beneath the still waters of the Sound. How will she convince the new comer to town that the waters are unsafe? That even if you were to avoid the sand banks a far darker experience awaits anybody who dares take a boat out upon those waters.

Ellipse
A romance… completely unrelated to anything Twilight and Eclipse :P… This one is more of a just a title than some of the others I’ve mentioned… But something to do with a graphic artist. It talks about being incomplete and how perfection isn’t necessarily the way society sees it. Maybe geniuses can draw perfect circles… and maybe they can draw beautiful ellipses instead.

An as yet unnamed romance
Despite all of the different ideas up there… If I was to write a story it would be a romance. Romance is the genre I know best, the genre I love best. I could never write a suspense thriller - I can’t even watch thriller movie trailers… When I create a story in my head however it starts by the end it has a boy and a girl a conflict, a resolution and a happily ever after… I’ll keep you posted :P